I can’t recall the last time I slept well; I could never get myself to fall asleep when you’re always roaming around my brain. I can’t sleep when it feels like a thousand bricks have been dropped atop my chest every time the thought of you springs through my mind. I can’t stop fucking thinking about you, your voice resonates in my head and the image of your smile burns through every negative thought of mine. I can’t fall asleep when I’m sparking up conversations with you in my head; the things I should say and the things I want to say. It took me awhile to realize that there was a fine line between those two. It took me awhile to accept every kind of way you could react to either one. I’m not fully positive on whether I’m ready for them or not, but I want to be. I want to take this weight off my back; the weight of all the feelings I’ve never told you. I don’t want you to know just so I could have you feel anything back, I want you to know because you deserve to know. I want you to know because I need you to believe just how special you are, how fascinating you are, how lovely and beautiful you are. But I cannot fall asleep with all this unsaid, but when I do, I dream of you, hoping that one day you won’t only be in my dreams.